"Initiation"

I wait for the previous Chosen by the side of the road in the woods outside of town

the sun is setting and my sweater is slowly becoming not warm enough in the cooling air

just as I lose hope and turn to start the slog home, she appears from nowhere without a sound

even in the fading light, her hair is clearly a radiant pink that perfectly matches her frilly pink dress

I notice a faint glow around her and am certain that she was Chosen and transformed

she produces a pink piece of fabric and blindfolds me with it to protect the secret of our destination in the forest

it's soft against my face and smells faintly flowery

she then firmly grabs my hand and leads me blindly forwards

the path she takes me on through the woods is long and twisty, with a sea of rocks and tree roots to trip over

she catches me every time I lose my footing, her soft hand pulling me back upright

as we walk deep into the forest, everything becomes quiet

the sounds of cars on the road disappear into the distance and all I hear is the rustling of branches in the wind and our own footsteps

we ascend a hill and then abruptly stop

she unties the blindfold to reveal nearly a dozen women watching me intently in a small clearing

like the woman who led me here, they all wear colorful dresses that seem to faintly glow

each is unique, with their own design and color scheme, but all are frilly and adorned with bows

cued by a nod from one of the others, the previous Chosen produces a ceremonial dagger and hands it to me, the new Chosen

it's far heavier in my hands than anything that size should be and as I turn it over, the moonlight illuminates a heart-shaped hole at the base of the blade

I know what I have to do with it without being told, and that scares me

the other women look on in silent expectation as I hesitate and my hands shake the sacred weapon

resignedly, I press the point gently against my chest, the heavy metal cold even through my sweater

my breaths move my body towards and away from the blade for what feels like an eternity as they continue to watch in silence

I know that they were all once Chosen like me and that the blade has transformed them, but that doesn't fill the pit of fear in my stomach or make the blade any less sharp

my eyes rise from the dagger to the women, and envy for how they've been transformed swells in my heart

I've been Chosen; I can't throw that away just because I'm scared, I tell myself

I'll regret not doing it later when I never get this chance again, I think

my hands grip the blade's handle ever tighter

I can't let go of this chance.

I push the blade through the fabric of my sweater

it cuts through the garment as though it wasn't even there

I hesitate for an instant longer, glance at them again, take a deep breath, and plunge the blade into my own chest.

FIN.

thank you to Meadow, kim, and the restlessness of an anxious wait for proofreading and help editing